


Don't Say I'm Not Your Type

by onierokinetic



Series: One Sitting One Shots [3]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Bisexual Ben Hanscom, Gay Richie Tozier, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Past One-Sided Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Post-IT (2017), Rated T for Trashmouth, Teenage Losers Club (IT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onierokinetic/pseuds/onierokinetic
Summary: “Sorry,” Ben squeaks. “I think I might be getting sick. I’m going to go get some air.” He scrambles to his feet, moving as quickly as his words.“Bullshit,” Richie calls, sitting up straighter to glare at him. All eyes in the room instantly ping back to him; their gazes ranging from interested to concerned to downright afraid. “What the fuck is your problem, dude?” Richie spits.“Richie—” Bill tries.“No. You know what? Fuck you, dude. I know what your problem is. You fucking avoid me at all costs and can’t even look me in the eye. You haven't talked to me once since I came out! I thought you were my friend!” Richie screams. Ben looks stunned, nearly in tears.***It's been a week since Richie came out to his friends, and it has gone better than he could have hoped. Almost all of them seem to support him. All except Ben, who hasn't been able to look him in the eyes since. Is he really homophobic, or is he just hiding something? Richie is going to find out, even if it means losing one of his closest friends.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Richie Tozier
Series: One Sitting One Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793500
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	Don't Say I'm Not Your Type

**Author's Note:**

> imma be honest with y'all: i don't like how this turned out _at all_. it just doesn't fit the original plan i had for it. i'm still posting it though because trashtack content is scarce. i'm sorry trashstack stans, i promise i'll be posting more content for them soon, and it's gonna be a hell of a lot better than this stack of trash.  
> title from wish you were gay by billie eilish bc if you look at that song through a homosexual lense... it just fits

It’s been almost a week since Richie came out to his friends and it’s been nearly the best week of his life. He honestly wishes he would have done it sooner. All those awkward preteen years of hiding could have been avoided if he’d just been honest. But well… it’s hard to believe that _anyone_ (including his closest friends) would accept him the way he is when you’ve had the word fag beaten into your skin time and time again.

But things are better now. Henry and his goons are gone and though no one wants to talk to them at school, he has his six best friends who love him unconditionally. Well… most of them do anyway.

“Haystack!” Richie calls out as he descends the ladder to the clubhouse. He’s early so Ben is the only one there when his feet pound the dirt below.

“Oh!” Ben’s head pops up from whatever repair he’d been working on. “Uh, hey Rich,” he says, quickly looking away from Richie and trying to focus back on his work. It wouldn’t really bother Richie if he didn’t already know that Ben was avoiding him. He hasn’t so much as looked Richie in the eye since he came out. He’s surprised Ben isn’t trying to book it out of the clubhouse like he’s done every other time they’re alone together.

“Whatcha doin’?” Richie asks, coming up behind him. It causes Ben to jump and he quickly moves away from Richie. He doesn’t _look_ disgusted, but the way he clearly doesn’t want Richie to touch him says otherwise. It hurts, but he’s long since learned how to hide his emotions behind a smile.

“Support beam,” Ben mumbles, looking down at the tools in his hands. One is a hammer, that Richie can tell, but he has no idea what the other tool is.

“What about the support beam?” Richie asks, desperate to keep the conversation alive.

“‘S broken,” Ben responds, still refusing to give him full sentences. Richie’s face falls as Ben looks towards the support beam. Ben doesn’t move, but it’s clear that he wants Richie to leave him be and allow him to continue working. He doesn’t even shove Richie out of the way like he would have two weeks ago.

He tries to keep on a brave face. He doesn’t know if it’s working. Ben isn’t looking anyway.

“So, Haystack,” Richie starts reaching out to pat Ben on the shoulder. Ben shoves the hand off the second it touches his skin, reeling away from Richie like he burned him. When Ben looks up to finally meet his eyes, his face is redder than usual and his eyes are wide with fright. He hasn’t seen him look like this since…

The rest of the words die on Richie’s tongue. Tears start to prick at Richie's eyes and Ben’s expression changes instantly. He brings his own hand to reach out to Richie, but falls short of actually touching him. Richie wants to call him out. To ask him what’s wrong with him, why he won’t even let Richie touch him. It hurts. For once in his life, he can’t bring his god damned mouth to open.

He doesn’t have to, though, because they’re soon interrupted by the familiar sound of footsteps above their head. Three pairs of footsteps, easily identifiable as Eddie’s fast-paced feet, Stan’s light footedness, and Bill’s heavy gait. Richie detracts himself from Ben, hiding in the hammock knowing full well that Eddie is going to cause a fight about it the second he sees Richie. Good. It’ll distract him. At least Eddie isn’t shy about touching him, even if they had to have a long and incredibly awkward conversation about AIDs. Richie would sit through a thousand more of those conversations if it meant whatever was happening between him and Ben would stop.

“Wow, Richie. You’re early,” Stan notes as he finally enters the clubhouse. He sounds surprised as if Richie hasn’t been using this underground bunker as his own personal escape since it was built.

“You know me, Staniel. Had to make sure this chucklefuck wasn’t _too_ lonely,” Richie says, praying that Stan doesn’t notice the way his voice cracks at the mention of Ben. He notices. Of course he does. Stan notices everything. But as always, he’s interrupted by Eddie before he can say anything about it.

“What the _fuck_ Richie!” Eddie shouts, following Bill into the clubhouse. “You got the hammock last time, it’s my turn you fuckstick!”

“I’ll show you a fuckstick,” Richie responds, waggling his eyebrows and making a show of getting comfortable in the hammock. He’s not going to move to matter what. He’ll stay wrapped up in his little sadness cocoon forever, thank you very much.

“Ugh, that’s gay,” Eddie sneers, moving towards Richie and expertly climbing in the small hammock. They fit together quite perfectly when they were thirteen, but now at the ripe old age of 17, they’re on the verge of giving Ben another thing to repair.

Bill opens his mouth to say something about Eddie’s choice of language, but Richie waves him off. Bill has gotten much more protective over Richie since coming out and is always at the ready to call one of their friends out for any kind of bigotry. He’s always been like that, especially for Mike and Bev, but it warms Richie’s heart to know that he has someone in his corner. Eddie, however, is not a threat. He’s just teasing, that’s what they do. He doesn’t mean any harm by it and well… he’s right. That was pretty gay of him.

“Everything about me is, my sweet Eds,” Richie responds, grabbing Eddie’s ankle to steady him in the now swaying hammock. Eddie sticks his tongue out at Richie as he makes himself comfortable. Before he can come up with a witty comeback, however, they’re interrupted by a loud cough and a crash. Looking over, Ben has dropped the tools in his hands, looking scandalized and frazzled.

“Are you okay, Ben?” Bill asks sincerely.

“Yeah, Haystack. Something wrong?” Richie says, unable to hide the sneer in his voice. Stan’s eyes narrow and though Bill doesn’t seem to notice, Eddie turns an angry yet analytical gaze onto Richie.

“No, sorry Bill. I’m fine,” Ben says, ignoring Richie and speaking only to Bill. Eddie catches this too.

“Hey, is something going on?” he asks, keeping his voice low enough that the others can’t hear him. Eddie can be loud and argumentative, but he can be quiet too.

“No, Eds. It’s fine,” Richie tells him. Though, Richie can tell that Eddie doesn’t believe it.

Once again, he’s interrupted and freed from the inevitably awkward conversation, but the arrival of footsteps. Bev and Mike are here at last, their presence in the small clubhouse preventing Richie and Eddie from having a private conversation.

“We’re going to talk about this later,” Eddie informs him. Richie knows he isn’t going to get out of this one. And though Eddie is his best friend, he’s kind of the last person he wants to tell about this. He knows how Eddie would react. Richie doesn’t want to cause any _more_ problems for Ben, and he certainly doesn't want to give Ben any more reason to hate him.

“Sure, buddy,” Richie says, already thinking of ways to get out of it.

“I’m serious, Richie. We’re gonna fucking talk about this,” he repeats, punctuating his statement with a light kick to the face. Thirteen-year-old Richie would have probably exploded at that. Seventeen-year-old Richie is just a bit annoyed.

“Talk about what?” Bev asks, appearing out of nowhere and sitting against the wall by the hammock. She causes Richie to jump so hard that it rocks the hammock. Eddie doesn’t shout at him, but he does hold onto the sides for dear life and glare at him, which Richie returns with a sheepish smile.

“Richie’s crush,” Eddie responds.

Richie squawks, looking flustered and confused. “My _what_?” He asks. He certainly didn’t want to talk about what Eddie saw with Bev, but he doesn’t really want to talk about this either.

“Your _crush,_ Richie, keep up. I know you’ve got one, why else would you have come out when you did?” Richie asks. Bev tells him he has a point and Richie shakes his head.

“Because I love and trust all of you?” Richie says.

“Bullshit,” Eddie spits, causing Beverly to laugh. “Who is it, Tozier. I know you’ve got one.”

“Besides you, my love?” Richie asks, batting his eyelashes and hoping that the mention of his previous crush on Eddie will steer the conversation away from his current _will-never-love-me-back_ crush.

“Yes, asshole. Obviously besides me. We all know about that one,” Eddie says. Beverly however, finally interrupts their bickering.

“Wait, hold on no we don’t. Richie, you have a crush on Eddie?” Beverly asks, calling the attention of all the other losers in the room.

“Had,” they both respond.

“Used to be head over heels for my dear Spaghetti—”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Even carved our initials into the kissing bridge when I was like, thirteen,” Richie explains.

“So what made you stop then?” Bill asks, looking both genuinely curious and also a little bit confused. Whether that is because he’s confused how Richie could like Eddie or how he could _not_ like Eddie is up in the air. There is a reason Richie considered Bill his biggest rival in love when they were kids.

“Nothing sucks more than being in love with a straight guy,” Richie says with a shrug.

Ben, sitting as far away from Richie as possible, lets out an audible scoff. All eyes turn to him and he reddens at the attention.

“Sorry,” he squeaks. “I think I might be getting sick. I’m going to go get some air.” He scrambles to his feet, moving as quickly as his words.

“Bullshit,” Richie calls, sitting up straighter to glare at him. All eyes in the room instantly ping back to him; their gazes ranging from interested to concerned to downright afraid. “What the fuck is your problem, dude?” Richie spits.

“Richie—” Bill tries.

“No. You know what? Fuck you, dude. I know what your problem is. You fucking avoid me at all costs and can’t even look me in the eye. You haven't talked to me _once_ since I came out! I thought you were my friend!” Richie screams. Ben looks stunned, nearly in tears.

“Richie…” he croaks. How dare he? How dare he look so upset when he’s the one being a dick. Richie should be the one crying right now, not Ben. He doesn't deserve any of Richie's sympathy.

“Is that true, Ben?” Bev asks softly, looking like she wants to believe anything else. No. Not _her_ Ben.

“Ben,” Bill says, using that same disappointed voice that all six of them fear.

“I…” he starts. “I can’t,” he croaks, scrambling out of the clubhouse. Mike goes to stop him, but Richie launches himself out of the hammock.

“No,” he tells Mike. “We need to talk about this. Alone.”

And then Richie is up and out of the clubhouse. Ben may be bigger than any of his friends, but he can be fast when he wants to be, so Richie is surprised that he’s only just reached the edge of the trees. He’s not running, so Richie thinks he must _want_ to be caught.

“What the fuck, Ben?” Richie shouts, sounding more broken than angry. He’s angry, of course he is, but he’s hurt more than anything else. These are the people he trusted. The people he would lay his life down for. He would have done anything for Ben, and he thought it was the same for him.

“Richie, I’m sorry,” Ben responds, not turning around, even when Richie lays a hand on Ben’s arm. He doesn't flinch this time, but he doesn't lean into the touch like he used to either.

“Why?” Richie himself isn’t really sure what he’s asking. He doesn't know what he wants to ask. There are so many questions in his brain right now, but he can’t find a way to string them together in a way that makes sense.

“I— You don’t understand, Richie,” Ben says.

“Of course I don’t!” Richie all but shouts. “I don’t get it! I thought we were friends, Ben! No one else has a problem with me being gay, so why do you?”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Richie. That’s not it!” Ben tells him, finally looking him in the eyes. His eyes are bloodshot and the color is back in his cheeks.

“Then what is it?” Richie asks desperately. He just wants to understand. He wants to fix this. He wants his friend back. What happened to the Ben Richie could go to with anything? The Ben who has never been anything but sweet to Richie. The Ben that made Richie want to write poems or the Ben who has always been his perfect foil. What happened to the Ben that loved him, and the Ben he loved?

“You said that nothing sucks more than being into a straight guy,” Ben starts. “You were wrong.”

“What?” Richie asks. Where is this going?

“The only thing worse is knowing that the guy you love is gay, but would never be with you anyway,” Ben tells him, looking into his eyes and trying to convey _some_ sort of message with them. Richie still doesn’t understand.

“I— I don’t know what you’re talking about. Is this about Eddie? Is he—”

“No.” Ben interrupts, looking a bit frustrated. “No, it’s not about Eddie.” He doesn’t explain further.

Richie really has to think about it. Honestly, Richie hadn’t ever really considered the idea that there are other gay people in Derry. So who could Ben be talking about? If it’s not Eddie then…

Oh.

_Oh._

“Wait, Ben, are you…” he trails off, not quite sure what he’s asking.

“You’re really funny. I know we tease you about it all the time, but no one has ever made me laugh like you do. And you’re just so… _cool._ It’s like you don’t care what anyone thinks about you. You’re so brave, I could never come out like that. I’m too scared. And… and you’re really handsome too. Not someone who could ever love a whale like me,” Ben finishes, looking down to grimace at his own overweight body.

Richie can’t stand that. He hates it. Ben is so good. He’s _so good._ He’s kind and sweet and he’s funny without even trying! He’s so passionate about things and even though Richie couldn’t give less of a shit about Derry history, the way Ben’s eyes light up when talking about his pulls him in every time. He’s smart and caring and so god damn _pretty._ He is. He’s soft and arguably the best person in their whole group to cuddle. His chin protrudes strongly, bringing attention to his soft-looking lips that constantly make way for the brightest smiles. He’s big, sure, but who says that isn’t attractive? It sure as hell wasn’t Richie.

“Hey,” Richie calls. “Don’t talk about my friend like that. I happen to _personally_ know five people who could love him, and one who already does,” Richie says. He pulls Ben into a hug, tightening his hold around Ben’s waist, squeezing to let him know that it doesn’t bother him. Ben’s weight has never been an issue for Richie, and it certainly isn’t now.

“I’m going to kiss you,” Richie tells him, not making any move to pull away from the hug.

“Now?” Ben squeaks, his hands still at his sides as if he’s afraid.

“No,” Richie laughs, pulling away slightly. He keeps his hands on Ben’s sides but pulls away enough that their faces are close and they can really look at each other. “We’re both covered in tears and snot. Our first kiss is gonna be so much better than that!” Richie declares.

“Wait, since when do you _like me back_?” Ben asks incredulously.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” Richie says truthfully. “I never really thought about it, you know? I mean I kind of have. You’re really nice to me even when I’m being annoying and well… I don’t know. I’m not _not_ into you. And I promise, this isn’t a _we’re the only gay people so we’re together by default_ kind of thing. It’s more like a _you’re really cute and also I trust you_ kind of thing.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Ben tells him, still looking dumbfounded.

“You don’t gotta say anything. That’s what _I’m_ here for, Benny Boy,” Richie says, pulling him into a hug once more. This time, Ben is quick to return the hug and bury his face into Richie’s neck. Richie is quite a bit taller than him, as he is to most of his friends, but their height difference makes them fit perfectly into one another. “It’s why we’re the perfect couple.”

“Couple?” Ben asks, squeezing him tighter.

“O’ cawrse!” Richie declares. “The best darn couple this side a the rivah.” His voices still aren’t very good, but it still brings a snort out of Ben.

“Now we should probably go back and explain before Big Bill tries to put a hit out on ya,” Richie laughs.

“Do we have to?” he asks, looking like he would rather face down Bower’s and his gang again rather than a disappointed Bill.

“Sure do, Handsome. You really think I’m not gonna show off my new boyfriend to all of our friends?” he asks, fully pulling away from the hug and moving to hold Ben’s hands. Ben was able to hide his blush while they hugged, but now Richie can see it in all its adorable glory. He preens knowing he’s the one who put it there.

“He’s gonna kill me,” Ben groans, allowing Richie to tug him back to the hatch.

“He’ll have to go through me first. No one’s going to lay a hand on _my_ Ben.”

“How can you say those things with a straight face,” Ben mumbles in embarrassment as they begin to descend the ladder. Richie misses the feeling of Ben’s hand in his own. It’s only for the trek down the ladder, but he wants to be around his boyfriend as much as possible now that he actually _has_ one. He even jumps off the ladder halfway down, so as to not waste any seconds.

Sure, the last week has _sucked_ , thinking that one of his best friends hated him, but he really couldn’t have wished for a better outcome.

“Don’t worry guys, everything's okay! We’re in love!” he announces, grabbing Ben’s hand once he’s safely down the ladder. The rest of them just look at him stunned, causing him to giggle. They stare at him in disbelief, turning towards Ben to see if it's really true. 

“Beep beep, Richie,” Ben blushes, leaning over to kiss Richie on the cheek, causing his face to turn even _redder_ than Ben’s. He hadn’t even known that was possible. But then again, he hadn’t thought he’d ever get a _boyfriend_ either. He knows for sure though, that he’s never going to get tired of being able to say that.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk about trashstack with me on tumblr @onierokinetic


End file.
